Why do some members treat their association as the enemy? It’s happening more often than you’d think.

Membership bodies bind sectors together, they defend standards, provide education, and influence government. Yet, for all that, associations are often cast as villains by the very people they exist to support.

In recent months I’ve seen several cases where individual members have pursued their association with such ferocity you’d think they were trying to bring it down altogether. At best, it’s puzzling. At worst, it’s toxic. Either way, it’s worth understanding why this pattern is becoming more common, and what it means for the leaders charged with holding these organisations steady.

This isn’t about the odd grumble or spirited AGM question. It’s about members who behave as if their association is an adversary. When we see vendetta-level engagement (relentless criticism, conspiracy theories, late-night missives, and personal attacks) it’s almost never about the association itself. It’s about what the association represents, and what the member is projecting onto it.

Here are the nine drivers I see most often.

1. The association is a convenient stand-in for “the establishment”

Frustrations about government feel too big. Regulators feel too distant. Competitors feel too risky to blame. The association, however, is tangible. It has an office, a CEO, and a chair you can email directly. It becomes the nearest available lightning rod when sector pressures need a target. Members who feel unheard elsewhere find it easy to redirect that energy at the one body they believe should listen. The association becomes the embodiment of everything they want to challenge, i.e., authority, rules, and sector norms. Even when it isn’t the source of the problem.

2. The belief that membership equals a bespoke service

Some members genuinely struggle with the idea of collective benefit. They see their fee as purchasing a personalised service. When the association does something for the wider good, like lobbying, standard setting, or publishing technical guidance, they can feel overlooked if it doesn’t directly serve their business model. From that point, it’s a short step to accusing the association of “not representing me,” or worse, “working against me.” This is expectation management, not organisational failure.

3. Ego, power, and the politics of influence

Every association has someone who wants more influence than they can secure at the ballot box. When they fail to get elected or lose a committee position, they sometimes pivot to attack mode. The internal logic is simple: if I can’t shape the agenda from within, I’ll undermine it from outside. This is where behaviour crosses into obsession. You see attempts to discredit the board, challenges to the CEO’s integrity, allegations of bias, and sweeping claims that “the association is corrupt.” Underneath it all is bruised ego masquerading as righteous crusade.

4. Governance illiteracy breeds suspicion

Relatively few members understand the Board's fiduciary duties, governance process, insurance constraints, legal obligations, or how regulatory compliance shapes decision-making. Without that knowledge, they fill gaps with assumptions. A standard audit point becomes an accusation of mismanagement. A routine board decision becomes evidence of a “closed shop.” A confidential HR matter becomes “proof” of a cover-up. When someone doesn’t understand how associations work, everything looks like a conspiracy. That’s not malice; it’s misunderstanding left unchecked.

5. Historic grudges never properly resolved

Associations carry long memories, but so do members. A dispute in 2016. A failed complaint in 2019. A tense exchange at the 2021 AGM. These things linger. Leadership changes, but grievances do not. Some members wait for the moment they think they can “settle the score.” What looks like a sudden explosion of anger is often the release of a grievance stored for years.

6. “I pay, so I own you” thinking

Subscription models can fuel entitlement. A modest fee gives some members an inflated sense of control. They believe their payment affords them executive authority, i.e., direct access, unlimited demands, and the power to override process. When they discover the association isn’t run by customer-service reps who are on call to meet their every need, the reaction can be fierce and the disappointment quickly becomes blame.

7. Social media amplifies and distorts

Once upon a time, the disgruntled member could only share their views at the pub or at the AGM. Now they can gather a micro-audience online. A couple of sympathetic comments give the illusion of widespread support. Algorithms reward outrage. Before long, they convince themselves they’re leading a movement, even when the movement is maybe only three people. And once they’ve built that narrative, backing down feels like losing face. So they double down instead.

8. The association is the only place they feel they can “win”

Some individuals feel powerless in most other arenas. They may be struggling commercially, fighting regulatory changes, or dealing with internal business tensions. Taking on the association gives them a sense of control. It’s a contained environment, with visible leaders, published processes, and predictable responses. It feels winnable. The association becomes a symbolic opponent when the real battles are elsewhere.

9. Psychological displacement

This is the quiet one. Many members who lash out at associations are dealing with pressures unrelated to the organisation, maybe financial strain, business precarity, or personal stress. Directing anger at the association is a safer outlet than confronting those realities. It’s not pleasant to acknowledge, but it’s often true. The behaviour is irrational because the underlying issue isn’t organisational at all.

Why it escalates into a vendetta

Once a member casts the association as the enemy, facts stop mattering. They’re no longer looking for resolution; they’re looking for vindication. Every reply from the office becomes “evidence.” Every boundary you set becomes “defensiveness.” Every polite refusal becomes “stonewalling.” The association becomes trapped in a loop where engagement fuels the narrative, and silence fuels it too. Logic has left the building.

What leaders can do about it

This isn’t simply reputation management. It’s cultural risk management. Leaders can reduce the likelihood and impact of this behaviour with a few simple moves:

• Explain governance more often and more plainly. Most suspicion evaporates when members understand the basics of board decision-making.

• Hold boundaries firmly and calmly. Not every demand deserves a bespoke response. Professional detachment is a gift.

• Document processes. Transparency shields you. When your decisions are consistent and well-recorded, you remove oxygen from conspiracy.

• Support the CEO and staff. Vendettas are exhausting. Boards must recognise and intervene early.

• Don’t confuse loud with representative. A single angry member is not a failing system. Treating them as such destabilises leadership and rewards poor behaviour.

The bigger picture

Ultimately, associations aren’t just membership bodies. They’re symbols of identity, power, and legitimacy within their sectors. When something goes wrong, internally or externally, people look to the nearest symbol to blame. That’s why you sometimes find yourself fighting battles you never started.

The good news is that the vast majority of members aren’t like this. They value their association, recognise the pressures, and contribute positively. The challenge is that the few who behave otherwise can drain time, energy, and morale if left unchecked.

Understanding why these dynamics arise is the first step to diffusing them. The second step is simple: lead with clarity, communicate with confidence, and never let one person’s crusade unsettle the purpose of the whole.